It's been quite sometime since I've actually did a proper update. Oh well, life's been really fucked up. And of course, I'm still trying my best to overcome all the obstacles I'm facing right now. Not only it is referring to relationships, also studies.
Times like that make me realize who are those who actually stand by me when I need them. Who are the ones who're willing to listen to all your rantings, to all your nonsense. There are a few. A few true ones. And that is enough. I'm just really really fortunate, and I'm happy like that.
Relationship? A lot have been asking me about R & myself.. I really don't wish to answer them. Sometimes I'd just say that we're fine, when I know we're not at all. It's really upsetting but I know I'm not the only one facing situations like that. I know I have to be strong. To speak the truth, R & myself were just dating and have yet to be together. Though, I still feel the heartache, I still feel the pain. I just really treasure the relationship with him. Things just didn't turn out the way I, or rather we, expected. And, I always tell myself that I will never give up on us. But deep down, I'm struggling really hard, with a blank mind. I don't know what to do. I've got no plans. I totally don't know what else I can do. And I'm not giving up, definitely.
I met him yesterday night, I feel contented. And that is enough for now. I know how he's feeling, and I'm really glad that I told him what I always wanted to. How much I wish the world could stop spinning at that moment. I know I sounded really crazy but yes, that's how I really feel. I miss that pair of warm palms. I miss pinching his cheeks. I miss touching that really chubby belly of his. And definitely, I miss every single bit of him. Very much. It was just a good 45 minutes with him, I'm happy.
Alright I'm just getting a little too emotional up there )':
As for studies......... I'm getting worse. I'm starting to not like attending school anymore. Lost interests in almost every modules I'm having right now. Didn't really pay attention to my schoolwork, did shits for examinations, incomplete schoolwork. Sigh, totally fucked up. I seriously am dreading to see my GPA this term. Distracted much? Most probably!
I've lost a lot of friends and things that I treasured very much lately.
And I know I can't blame anyone else but myself.
My life is just totally fucked up. And like what they always say, FML. Tsk tsk tsk.
I seriously need some motivation and moral support to go on, to not give up.
Friends, please ):
Bestie's out of town for afew days already. So much that I need him and he's not here for me ): But good thing is he's gonna be back tonight. Really need to talk to him so badly. Bff, I miss you!
I just really miss how things were used to be.
But it seems like all good things will eventually comes to an end.
Sigh, what to do?!
Bye.
No comments:
Post a Comment