Awesomez

It's 3:26am right now, yet I'm still wide awake.

I've not been very active here lately, been busy with stuffs.

So pardon me!

Remember the Malaysia trip I've mentioned in one of my previous entries? I totally had fun on that day. Despite the long bus rides we had, the trip was an awesome one. Although not much shopping was done, I still enjoyed myself very much. Fruit & vegetable farms, mini zoo, fireflies, honey, chocolates etc. And I actually managed to smuggle some gums back to Singapore. Hehe!

On the coach. More @ here

Got home at almost 12am that night. Derrick called, so joined them to drink at RCA. I totally hate that place. Super lupsup! Striptease etc. Tsk! Went to Geylang to eat right after. Willy came to picked me up, headed back to Pasir Ris. Slack for hours, and headed home. Was super shag that night, especially after a whole day over at Malaysia!

Saturday, which is yesterday.........

Met Reign at Tiong Bahru in the noon. Had lormee for our lunch! Finally uh, after so long.... Well, headed down to Cathay right after. Caught "It's a Great Great World", a Singapore film. Not as bad as I thought, totally brought me back to 1970s. Plaza Singapura for his dinner after the movie, then headed off to Clarke Quay to meet Jasmine & Cherie.

W Reign/

Got our stamp from Groove, the bouncers' like a funnnnnnny only. Aye, headed to SOHO to drink the balance leftover. Then, back to Groove for more drinks. Partied at Rebel, awesomez. Thanks for the Tequila shot ah Alvin, I hate it alot. Still ask me want Flaming Lamborghini not, want me die?! Haha! Party ended at 4, wanted to head off to Titanium to find Willy & co, but didn't go in the end. Had my supper with Alvin & co over at Simpang Bedok, and got home at almost 7? It was an awesome night I must say.

& I actually woke up at 11 this morning. Power or what?! Hehe!

After bro's piano lesson this morning, we headed to Tampines w dad and mom to have some dimsum, then back to Simei for more Cny shopping @ Fairprice. Bought hell lotsa food, tidbits, drinks etc. Went to Watsons to get more cosmetics. Home right after. And I actually fall asleep from 8 till about 11pm just now. And that's the reason why I'm wide wide awake now :]

Still thinking if I should attend school later on................

Goodnight!

I miss you saying how much you'd miss & love me each time before I goes to bed )':

fml

Fml ley seriously I'm like one motherfucking stalker!

I have to click on your Facebook almost every motherfucking minute, & I totally don't understand why the fuck am I doing this to hurt myself.

I always have the urge to remove you from my Facebook, so that I won't know what's happening in your life, what's going on etc.

I'm afraid to see whatever I don't wish to see appearing on your wall, I'm really really afraid.

Afraid of losing you to another someone (although I've already lost you since idk when..).

Sigh, my life is totally fucked up.

I loved you so much you wouldn't know..

xoxo/

I wish I could tell you how much I loved & missed you.

I still feel horrible deep down, really..

Sigh!

School trip

Hi.

Will be on a school trip to Malaysia, Desaru tomorrow.

Seriously, I'm still in a dilemma. Don't know to back out or not.

Really don't have the mood to go, don't see a point going either.

Tsk, regret much? Totally.

I'm really happy to have receive a text from you today.

But on a second thought, it's not a good thing.

I wanted to be really hard on my decision, but yet I've changed my mind upon receiving a text from you.

Well, all I can do is to just do nothing. 走一步, 看一步吧!

Although I know I shouldn't be, I still am feeling so much towards you.

I miss you.

Goodnight!

"Awesome"

Last night @ Rebel & Zirca.

Everything went haywired as expected, shouldn't have went.

It was a totally fucked up night.

I feel like a loser.

I need to apologize to many who's there for me last night, be it physically or emotionally. I've made you guys worried! Thanks for being there for me during fucked up times like that and that I love you guys many! Fuck love and those emotional shits. Xoxo/

When I say I hate you, you know I don't mean it.

I just hate it when things like that happened, and that you're treating me like that.

I'd rather you telling me that you've got yourself a new girl & that I can just move on with life.

I can definitely live without you, I just don't want to.

But let me tell you what, I'll just fuck off from your life for the time being.

All the best to you, & that I wish you happiness.

Ciaos.

Fake

Hi.

Just got home from school about an hour back. I went to school late, yet I'm home early. School's as shitty as always, getting shittier each time. Oh well.. I totally fucked my role-play up, I didn't do well at all. My studies, a total gone case. Good job Tessa, good job. Yeah right..........

Oh, was talking to Joshua earlier on. I intend to get this something done right after Cny.

Hehehe. Can't wait, totally can't!

I'm gonna go get prepared right now.

Meeting bh over at Bugis for some sheesha, hopefully I'd be able to not think so much.

Some people are just as fake as a three dollar bill!

Yes, this is totally referring to you. Tsk tsk tsk..

Bye!

How to overcome heartbreaks?

Ask me anything!

Wednesday morning.

Hello.

It's a Wednesday morning..

I slept really late last night, after Bestie left.

Wanted to turn in earlier as promised to R, tried hard but couldn't at all.

Turned in at about 4am, and that totally explain my oh-so-sleepy pair of eyes right now.

Oh well..

Re-did my script last night, gonna head to school for some role-playing shit later on.

Where to go today? If there's really nowhere, I shall just stay home.

Anyone asking me out? Text me!

I love you more, as the days passes..

Bye.

You're still, my everything.

You were my everything - Aviation.

But still, I'm not giving up.

Sigh

Hello.

Just got up from my nap about an hour back.

Had my dinner shared with Mommyluv.

Didn't have the appetite & mood for dinner at all, sigh..

Gonna do my script for my role-play ltr on.

Mind went totally blank after seeing what's on Facebook.

Also, made me realize that things will eventually not go the way I want them to be.

Sigh, life still have to go on after all..

真的不知怎的. 看到了, 应该开心还是难过?

Who says I can't live without you? I totally can but..

I just don't want to.

Bye.

happygal90

Hello.

I couldn't get to sleep, guess it's very much due to the nap I had this evening.

I was so dead. Dead tired.

Had my Napfa test today, feeling good after completing everything.

5 stations + 2.4km run :>

Was watching some 8pm show on Chnl8 just now. It actually shows how some people overcome their obstacles in life, how they live their life despite being less fortunate than how we are. It really upset me a lot, I actually teared pretty much. What's more? I'm more of a emotional someone. One thing came to my mind. Whatever happens, think. Your life might be just fucked up right now, but think. There's actually some people who're less fortunate, trying to live their life to the fullest. Treasure your life, cherish your loved ones.

And not to deny, I'm a really a happy girl today ^^/

It's been so long since I've last smiled like that.

I'm looking forward to each brand new day now, cos I know it's so gonna be nearer to the next time I see you. Although I totally have got no idea when will it be.........

Thanks for everything, & that I miss you so much.

Bye/ xo.

Sigh.

Stop being a fag.

Saying really mean stuffs to me like that again & again, does it benefit you in any ways?

I'm losing him already, yet you are still saying stuffs like that.

It was the second time last night.

Stop adding salt to my wound!

I've removed you on Facebook already, not that I'm being a loser.

But I'm just really hurt..

I had a nightmare last night, seems like I've been thinking really hard.

If only I could stop the world from spinning........

Hey babies.

It's been quite sometime since I've actually did a proper update. Oh well, life's been really fucked up. And of course, I'm still trying my best to overcome all the obstacles I'm facing right now. Not only it is referring to relationships, also studies.

Times like that make me realize who are those who actually stand by me when I need them. Who are the ones who're willing to listen to all your rantings, to all your nonsense. There are a few. A few true ones. And that is enough. I'm just really really fortunate, and I'm happy like that.

Relationship? A lot have been asking me about R & myself.. I really don't wish to answer them. Sometimes I'd just say that we're fine, when I know we're not at all. It's really upsetting but I know I'm not the only one facing situations like that. I know I have to be strong. To speak the truth, R & myself were just dating and have yet to be together. Though, I still feel the heartache, I still feel the pain. I just really treasure the relationship with him. Things just didn't turn out the way I, or rather we, expected. And, I always tell myself that I will never give up on us. But deep down, I'm struggling really hard, with a blank mind. I don't know what to do. I've got no plans. I totally don't know what else I can do. And I'm not giving up, definitely.

I met him yesterday night, I feel contented. And that is enough for now. I know how he's feeling, and I'm really glad that I told him what I always wanted to. How much I wish the world could stop spinning at that moment. I know I sounded really crazy but yes, that's how I really feel. I miss that pair of warm palms. I miss pinching his cheeks. I miss touching that really chubby belly of his. And definitely, I miss every single bit of him. Very much. It was just a good 45 minutes with him, I'm happy.

Alright I'm just getting a little too emotional up there )':

As for studies......... I'm getting worse. I'm starting to not like attending school anymore. Lost interests in almost every modules I'm having right now. Didn't really pay attention to my schoolwork, did shits for examinations, incomplete schoolwork. Sigh, totally fucked up. I seriously am dreading to see my GPA this term. Distracted much? Most probably!

I've lost a lot of friends and things that I treasured very much lately.

And I know I can't blame anyone else but myself.

My life is just totally fucked up. And like what they always say, FML. Tsk tsk tsk.

I seriously need some motivation and moral support to go on, to not give up.

Friends, please ):

Bestie's out of town for afew days already. So much that I need him and he's not here for me ): But good thing is he's gonna be back tonight. Really need to talk to him so badly. Bff, I miss you!

I just really miss how things were used to be.

But it seems like all good things will eventually comes to an end.

Sigh, what to do?!

Bye.

I will not, and never give up

It's a Friday evening.

Where should I go later on?

Party? Sheesha? Or just stay home?

Sigh, totally no mood for everything.

Ciaos.

說了再見

Hereby I announce.............

I'm giving up on you already!

Ta.

难道感觉一旦失去了, 就再也找不回了吗?

It was a wrong decision made since the very beginning, wasn't it?

What's happening?

Hi babies, I just got home. Had a heart to heart talk with Cindy after dinner just now, and I'm feeling slightly better. Though, things are still as fucked up as ever. What happened to the both of us? It is just a week ago when we were watching Burlesque at Cineleisure, and now?! Tsk tsk tsk. These are just all too sudden I couldn't accept them at all. What/Who have you become? I realize I don't know you anymore. What has happened? It pains my heart each time I ask myself questions like that, flashbacks just kept coming back. No, I didn't tear. It has all dried up days ago.

Where are you? I miss the old you. Things wasn't supposed to turn out like that. What did I do? What have I done? Do I really deserve all these shit(s) that's happening now? This is totally fucked up. You made me fall, and yet you decided not to catch me. Great. Oh well..

Not to deny, I hate you very much. I hate you for everything you've brought me upon. I'm not a toy, for you to play and then throw aside when you're getting sick & tired of. If your intention since the beginning is to just have fun..... Congratulations you definitely had fun and that you broke my heart too. And yes, I need to learn from this. What a lesson learnt! But of course, I don't wish things are like what I've actually thought. I definitely want to believe in "things are actually ain't that bad and that I'm thinking too much......", can I?

I just want you to be honest to me, that's all.

Sigh, 真的很累了.

I need to be alone.

Goodmorning, Wednesday.

Just so you know.

Life couldn't be any harder than how it is now. Sometimes I wonder, why am I even doing all these to make myself so miserable? What are we? I don't even know. Neither do you. Am I just an option or priority? Not to deny, my life turned upside-down the moment you stepped into it. Regrets? If I were to say no, it'd totally be a lie. But no, I don't wish to turn back time. We've spent time together, we've been through both really happy and sad times. And I would love to keep those happy times we've spent together in my heart. Just so you know, I'd definitely have a piece of you that's with me..

I don't want to walk away from you. I want to be there for you. I want to be the one who make you smile. I want to be the one you'd want to share your happiness and pour all your sorrows with. Last but not least, I want to be the one that you'd think of every morning when you open your eyes and every night before you turn in.

Sometimes I feel like just walking away so you could miss me.

I miss those times when we actually laughed so much together, they're so beautiful.

I miss us. I miss how we used to be.

What should I do? I am going crazy!

I feel so useless, lousy & totally helpless.

With love,

Tessa.

You said you'll be there for me, always.

But now that I turned back, I couldn't see you.

Where are you?

I was searching so badly for you but..

You're nowhere to be found.

I LOST EVERYTHING

Blue

Just got home from school, didn't feel well throughout.

Didn't have any plans after school, so headed home.

& Yeappppp, I'm feeling worse than yesterday today.

Fever is back, and here comes cough & sore throat. Flu is definitely on it's way.

Haven't eat a single thing yet since morning. Had quite a number of strepsils though, hoping that my throat would feel at least a tad bit better but............. nope.

想要放放不掉泪在飘

你看看你看看不到

我假装过去不重要

却发现自己办不到

A really moody day.

With love,

Tessa.

It's Sunday today.

I had fun. So much fun with my family.

Had dinner at a restaurant located at somewhere around Sungei Kadut.

Uncle booked a room with ktv inside, was awesomeeeeeeeeeee.

Although it cost a bomb, I think everything is totally worth it!

Fun.to.the.max!

(Pictures will be updated in the next entry)

On a side note, I really am feeling lazy and tired already.

Both physically and mentally.

Too lazy and tired to care for anything or anyone already.

Sigh.

Goodnight!

Great. Wanted to go out tonight, but right now, after a nap, I am feeling worse./

Sigh, guess I've got no choice but to stay home tonight ):

Fever ):

Finally done watching Episode 4 :>

Really hate it when I have to wait till the next week for Episode 5 to be up.

Urgh.

Any plans anyone?

I'm feeling really unwell right now, having fever and sore throat.

Sigh! It's Saturday today and I definitely hope that I can hangout with friends but.......

):

Ciaos/

Awesome Friday

Holla.

I was thinking if I should actually update this space right now as I'm still really sleepy & that my mind is almost blank. Yes, I've yet to wash up & brush my teeth but I don't really care I will just do it after this. Oh well......

Yesterday was awesome. I had so much fun!

Did some shopping with MommyLuv after her work in the afternoon.

Spent a bomb, but afterall it's worth it.

Pretty dresses, heels, bags, lingerie etc.

Thanks Mommy! ^^

Met up with the usuals to do some catching up!

Really happy to see them last night, it was a super fun night.

Yes, I had so much fun! :>

Tata for now!

With love,

Tessa.

On a happier note..........

Someone is being really sweet recently, awwwwwww.

Burlesque

Hi babies!

Gave school a miss today, was really lazy..

Headed to town in the noon, met up with Ronghui for movie at Cineleisure.

Burlesque was AWESOME.TO.THE.MAX.

Seriously I'm so very much into films like that, awe-inspiring.

I don't mind watching a second time, definitely.

Burlesque

Awesomeeeeeeeez.

On a side note, I'm seriously in a need of help. I need a part time job with a total flexible working hours. Anyone?

With love,

Tessa.

Friendster = Awesomez

Hi.

Caught The Tourist at E!hub with Ronghui after school today.

I won't say it's very good, but pretty interesting.

He actually fell asleep in the middle of the movie lah, tsk!

Took a bus back home right after, and..

Thanks for accompanying me back to Simei! :>

Well..........

I decided to log in to my Friendster account just now.

And yeahhhh I know the word "Friendster" sounds so classic.
HAHAHA. It actually improved much but if I were to choose, I would very much prefer the previous Friendster to the Oh-so-Facebook kinda Friendster now.

Tsk tsk tsk.

Oh anyways the above is not the main purpose why I'm actually updating this space now..

It just happen that I actually found some interesting pictures up there, and I'm so gonna share them all with you guys.. And yes, please laugh.

HAHAHAHAHA. Yes bingo! The above, they are all yours truly, Tessa Ng.

Enjoy kayyyyyyyyz! Hehe!

Goodnight!

With love,

Tessa.

Morning jog

Hey.

Gave S&W a miss today.

Went for a jog instead & as usual, I'm feeling really good :>

Xm just called me told me about the BEO lesson at 12pm later on.

I wasn't being informed at all by anyone, and thought that lesson actually starts at 1pm like always.

Guess I'm so gonna be late for BEO, having my noodles for brunch right now.

& I need an hour and a half to prepare. How?!

On a side note, imma start afresh!

Ciaos!

I want my old self back!

Sigh.

A lot have been telling me that I've changed.

Definitely not for the better, but worse.

I myself, felt the same way too.. ):

The way I speak, the way I act..

I really hate myself so much now!

I'm so gonna try my best to change myself.

I want my old self back!

So badly.. Sigh!

I'm sorry if I've actually made any of you dislike/hate me, due to my words & actions.

I will definitely change myself, have some faith in me okay?!

With love,

Tessa.

I miss..

Sometimes I just really miss the way we were..

How we used to be is how much I wish we are now.

Sometimes I'd just stare into space and thoughts like such can just come straight up to my mind.

I think a lot. I really do.

I feel that we're somehow closer when we're not so close yet.

Now that we're so close, I feel that we're drifting apart.

Isn't it?

I do fall in love easily. & I believe most girls do.

I don't know if this is true:

"When you love him, he becomes unattracted to you.."

Hmmm..

I don't know but I think it is definitely not a good thing for girls to fall in love with one easily.

But tell me, who can actually help it?

Sigh.

School will be starting tmr & I've to wake up early.

Goodnight!

With love,

Tessa.

Fml

Morning world, 我起来了!

Woke up, feeling really moody.
Like not even look forward to anything, I hate this kinda feeling!
Sigh........

So sick and tired of everything!

Bye.

- via iPhone

Fruitful day!!

On my way back to yishun right now......

Was over at town the whole afternoon till now with bro.
Seriously feels so good after doing shopping :>
Happy to the max!

Will be heading to NEX tmr to do more shopping with Mommyluv!
Hehehehehehe.

No plans for tonight but......
I'm a happy girl!
& totally don't mind staying home to sleep tonight!
Woohoooo!

On a side note.......
I'm done with all my project shit!
Happy x 2!

Tata for now!

With love,
Tessa.

- via iPhone

So upset!

Have been watching this since yesterday, when I was with Ronghui&co at Mandai.

Completed episode 1, 2, 3 and when I was about to watch the 4th episode...........

I search & search & search..............

Couldn't find any at all and that's when I realized the 4th episode is not out yet! ):

Sigh! Sad extremeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

喜欢一个人的感觉是怎样的?

On a Saturday morning..

Good morning!

No I've not woke up yet, neither have I slept.

Few hours back, I was about to shower.

I fell asleep on my sofa instead, and woke up at 5am just now.

Just got out from a shower now, heading back to sleep soon.

I seriously needa get my body-clock fixed.

Don't think this should actually goes on when school starts on Monday.. ):

It's Saturday already.

Where to go where to go?!

I wanna do some shopping for CNY asap!

Ciaos for now!

Goodnight.

With love,

Tessa.

Just the way you are/

Good morning!

Morning babies, I'm awake!

I can totally predict the upcoming boring weekends.

No plans yet. Not at all.

Oh, & did I mention I just got my hair dyed last night?

Don't ask me what color is it because I threw the box right away.

So yeapppppppp.

I'm pretty much in love with the current colour, makes my hair looks healthier than before!

Hehehe.

Will be heading to the gym later on, can't wait!

Ciaos!

I like...

I like it how much you dislike me contacting any other guys.
I like it how much you dislike me going out with any other guys.

I like it how much you mind when guys talked to me online / real life.
I like it how much you dislike when other guys look at me.
I like it how much you mind about slow & late replies from me.
I like it how much you mind about not picking up your calls.
I like it how much you spam my mobile with texts / calls.
I like it how much you dislike me to 走光.

I like I how much you stalk my Facebook & blog.

I like it how much you mind about the littlest thing that happens to me.

You're so cute I love you so much! <3

- via iPhone

For you, I will.

Love you best!

xo.

Goodnight.

A deep

)':

With love,

Tessa.

Cry Me Out

Just so you know.

As long as it makes you happy, I'll do the impossible.

Just as long as I know you're still there, with or without me.

As long as you're happy, I'll do anything.

Random much.

Good morning babies!

Okay, I know right now it's already 3.30pm in the afternoon but.....

I just got up not long ago!

Last night was awesome.

Drank so much so much but at least I didn't get myself wasted.

Well, it's Thursday today.........

I shall be a good girl and stay home.

Stomach cramp is bad enough for me not to go anywhere else.

):

School's gonna start next week.

I'm so not prepared for anything yet!

Have to really get this holiday-mood off my ass asap before school actually starts.

Tsk tsk tsk.

Okay I know that this post is pretty random but I couldn't care less.

Just feel like updating this space but totally have got no idea what to.

So yeappppppp :>

No matter what I do, all I think about is you

Even when I'm with my boo, know you know I'm crazy over you

No matter what I do, all I think about is you

Even when I'm with my boo, y'know I'm crazy over you

I like the way we are now, so much so much.

xo.

With love,

Tessa.

Bodyclock's screwed

Omw home right now.
Didn't catch any movies in the end ):

Simei > Amk > Amkhub > S11 > Serangoon > Nex

And now I'm on the train, on my way back home!

I'm so sleepy!
Seriously haven't been sleeping much lately. Bodyclock's Totally screwed. So gonna catch some sleep when I got home later on!

Ciaos for now!

- via iPhone

New year's resolutions?

Hi!

I know it's a really weird timing to blog right now but I just couldn't help it.

Wanted to turn in right before this but I was too tempted to update this space.

But to speak the truth, I don't know what to update at all. Yes, at all.

Bro & myself went to meet Lucas for dinner just now @Bedok Point.

Had Pasta Mania in the end, was really disappointed that there's actually no HongKong cafe there ):

Walked around a bit before heading to Lucas' crib for some drinks.

Bro got me a fucking pretty iPhone case!

I've been looking for it in pink for quite sometime already & finally I found it!
And guess what, they're selling all the iPhone 4gs cases for god damn FIVE SGD.

Happy maximum!

Got home at around 11.30pm just now, after drinking @ Lucas' place for a lil' while!

Might be heading to Malaysia this upcoming Friday with Lucas!

Might be only, not confirmed yet!

Like a excited only........

Well........

It's a brand new year & everyone's coming up with their new year's resolutions.

And I think I'd better come up with one too!

Cracked my brain, and have almost squeezed out all my brain juice.

Tsk tsk tsk.

Here you go:

• To slim down at least 3 kilograms before Cny starts.
• Shall start saving $$$!
• Studies-first mindset.
• Less nightlife
• Trip to Hongkong!
• 21st birthday celebration @ Marina Bay Sands / Sentosa's Hard Rock Hotel, hopefully!
• More time & $$$ for more retail therapy!
• Prettier + Sexier = More attractive
• Part time job?!
• Better complexion

So far, these is all it came to my mind.

& I guess this is all for now..........

I'm left with about 4 hours of sleep.

Gonna wake up early in the morning later on, catching Yogi Bear with Ronghui :>

Ohyeapppppp talking about movies.......

Caught Little Fockers & 鬼也笑 recently!

Little Fockers: A totally hilarious one, awesome much.

鬼也笑: Quite stupid & lame. But hilarious in some ways.

On a side note,

I want a shopping spreeeeeee soon! Like maybe these upcoming week or what.

Can't wait, totally!

Goodnight!

With love,

Tessa.

Glad that we've talked things out.

I'll be a better girl, as promised :]

You'd better love me more!

2011 ):

A new year, a new beginning.

But does that mean it's a must for everything to come to an end in 2010?

I don't want to ):

Sigh.

A new year, a new beginning I supposed? ):
Sigh, totally moodless for anything else anymore.
Miss you, so much ):

- via iPhone

I miss you so much this feeling's totally fucked up ):

- via iPhone